MY WORST LESSON

Sometimes the lessons you learn as a teacher are just as important as those you are trying to teach your class … and so it was, one rainy afternoon in November, that my own learning objective became: to understand the importance of not lighting a naked flame in the classroom.

I suppose this is really something I should already have known – but I was a 26-year-old bloke who still lived with his parents – common sense was not my forte.

In a misguided attempt to brighten up a fairly drab RE topic – ‘Rituals in Hinduism’ – I decided to throw an impromptu birthday party for a couple of kids in my class whose birthdays were on the horizon. The vaguely tenuous point of this was to demonstrate a familiar ritual to the children.

From here on, you can probably fill in the blanks. I never cared much for firemen as it was – this is pure jealousy, I admit – but to have them turn up at my school due to my ineptitude has only added to my loathing for them.

The Smart Price candles on the Smart Price cake triggered the smoke detector which, in this particular school triggered the fire alarm. The school placed an automatic call to our nearest fire station. Bugger!